Well, hello! I’m still alive, studying away, trying to make time. After March 25th, I’m really hoping that I can be of greater support to all your blogs. For now, I’m working through stuff, realizing I need counseling, and hopefully getting matched with someone who is as supportive as all of you are.
This week, I have learned how much I have taken on, and how important it is to take it easy. My Loss History Graph below made me realize how much trust I have lost over the years in both humanity and myself. How easily I let go because losses come anyways, and how much I treasure what is left of me, and kindness around me.
On a more cheerful note, I’m building some strength at the gym, and it helps me focus my angst and energies to something incredibly challenging but rewarding. Woo! Masha’Allah. Alhumdulillah. Ameen.
To be honest, your posts always inspire me. They’re so honest yet also uplifting and make me feel not so alone in this crazy world.
Major kudos to you for sticking to your gym regime, I find working out can be so cathartic. I also really want to see Akeelah and the Bee now! I hope this week goes extremely well for you inshaAllah 
. Lots of love, xo
Jazakullah khairun for your kind words as I definitely feel less alone with my thoughts thanks to you too! Thank you for the kudos! Not easy, sometimes I just try to remove my brain from the workout as it can be intense.
Totally wished I watched the last 20 mins of the movie! It was sooo good!
Jazakullah khairun for your kind remarks, I so appreciate it! (Even though it takes me a week to check sometimes as I exam and ab crunch away.
ameen… ) Masha’Allah 
Pink, my heart goes for Option 8. Because, God is the best cupid of them all. He has better plans for you; the best “one” who deserves the special woman in you. Just hang in there! I love your thoughts!
Awwww.. hugsss.. hahah.. it’s nice to know I have options
writing it out made me realize I’m not entirely doomed, there are other special guys out there even if I find this one irreplaceable, I have to place my trust in God for what is best for me, and for him. 
Hugssss
I really am inspired by your self affirmations, we must be reminded of those daily so as to stand strong on what we do believe in. Rather, than those things that people try to force on us. Stay strong! there’s so much more to come after this hurdle.
Thank you so much for the encouragement! It’s only through dumping out garbage, can positive plants grow. Lots more still to dump, scary thoughts harbored in my head, but the light of hope helps keep weeds a bay.
Thank you so much dear friend! Self-affirmations slow to root, but well worth the digging.
Keep it up!
Keep going strong! Don’t let the people who leave you, define who you are. People come and go in our lives, and many people are in our lives for selfish reasons. Sometimes such people are not healthy for us. Also, God tests those He loves. The Prophets were tested the most. Insha’Allah, you will get through this and be standing on the peak, looking down at the problem as powerless to top you because you are on top of it.
Jazakullah khairun. I think I really needed that as my father(s) leaving that many times really made an impact and it still hurts so very much throughout my entire life. I struggle to find self-worth without such fatherly love, and as a result, my anxiety in abandonment overshadows any potential for relationships. I end up angry, hostile, critical, self-sacrificing, and generally pretty horrible at relationships. In a society that emphasizes so much on romantic love, this experience is so very lonely. Thank goodness for kind words like yours.
Hang in there! I think we can be our own worst enemies too often. We expect so much of ourselves, and when you look around, you find no one else expected all of that from us!
Thank you soo much. Really needed that reminder. So important to be kind to ourselves even when others demand more than we can give, as per this past week.
thank you for your kind words! It adds to my resiliency greatly. 
I’m glad you’re not letting the stresses of life interfere with your gym time. Good for you for continuing to go. That exercise will only make it easier to deal with the stress.
Awwww.. yes, totally! I had to do a tuck jump the other day. While my jelly bits were flopping, I was quite pleased with my hopping!
Ooh, tuck jumps are hard. You should be pleased!
Oh yes! Especially when I didn’t land on my bum. That for sure was a moment of triumph. My tuck jumps are more like high jumps though. But still, pretty amazing! I felt like a cheerleader!
Your writing is changing Pink – from what i read you’re getting stronger –
don’t mean to be all motivational over here – lol – but those aren’t losses –
they are Your gains …….. Anything that is NOT MEANT TO BE – and i am only saying this from my own experience – will not stick – The stuff in life – from love to friendship to everything else under the sun – THAT IS MEANT TO – WILL ………..
that i know for sure – deep within my heart …………………. Trust …. Trust …….. Trust …..
love you xo Cat xxx
My pink jelly bean, how much I love your sparkle!
I hope we stick 
Really… changing? Wooo.. I was worried I was getting worse.. but sometimes we have to fall before we learn how to get back up… climbing down to reach up has helped a lot. Airing out a lot of dirty laundry for fresh sheets. 
Hugss.. hugsss… thank u sooo much… I am blessed to have such kindness surround me… I think my doubt gets the better of me at times too….. hugssss
TRUST PINK TRUST – BELIEVE IN YOU
don;t let anyone get you down ………………please please please ……..:) x i’ve been in a Foo Fighters mode whilst creating – release the yukkkkkkkkkkkkkk and only let the good in ,…………. this is a pretty powerful song –
just be you and release anything that is not for YOU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_L4Rixya64 Happy sunday xxx love love and hugs xx C
Totally powerful song… wow… I’ve never listened to Foo Fighters before… Thank you for reminding me to be the best of me.
Hugssssssssssssssssssssssss.. love the reminder to release.. and grab onto pink after releasing the grey fluff… thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..
happy sunday!!!
Gotta love that bear! HAHA! Keeper of the diary, he’s the keeper of your thoughts Pink! HAHA! Anywhoo love the post, as always
Always so raw and personal and I envy that. I want to be a better writer, you are a great inspiration 
HAHAHA. Keeper of the Diary.. hahaah!!! You can envy my writing, and I can envy those great moments you capture! Half the time I’m too scared to take out my bright red Nikon anywhere.. it stays hidden in a closet.. it needs to be more adventurous.. being red and all…
haha.. raw and personal.. for me it’s more like, trying to commit to being honest with myself as much as I can. So difficult to do, but so necessary.. it helps to be anonymous, that gives me the courage to spill my beans.. 
it is much tougher when you’re not anonymous, so likely thats why… my FaceBook is nowhere nearly as personal.. more vague and not so real me 
HAHAHA Yeah I don’t use facebook much, LOL! Well keep writing and for goodness sakes take your camera out tomorrow! I don’t care if it’s a picture of your work area, your walk to walk or a photo after you get home! This is your mission
Hahaha.. I wish I could! It’s so much easier to use my phone.. sigh… plus the fact that I’m home late tomorrow.. eek.. but I should.. really.. just walk around my neighborhood… but it seems so weird, carrying around a massive camera in a quiet neighborhood…
Yeah, when I first started it was weird walking around with a camera, I don’t like people looking at me or getting any kind of attention HAHA! But I got over it
Just focus on the goal and don’t look at people around you HAHA
Thank you! That’s a good reminder! I’m hoping to do linkedin photos for people for free and partner with the library. We’ll see how it goes! It should be fun!
a so lovely post!. That diary is your expression of yourself…and handwritten words and phrases is a fine art. Also, somehow more expressive loveliness. As the skin, at gym, or at the pages of your écritures, or inside your soul. Thanks for share. Always.
Thank you for your écriture!
so lovely post!…thanks for share…your handwriting is fine art
lovely post…sharing loveliness…thanks
lovely post…thanks for share
lovely post…thanks for share.
Pink, you are not so screwed up as you imagine yourself to be. What a magical gifted heart and soul you bring to this world of ours. Your words twinkle with the light of truth and love and struggle and doubt. You share….and that is your wonderful gift to us. How blessed I am to know you. Thank you, my very special friend. xoJulia
Twinkle in my eye as I read this, thank you so much. You have given me the bravery to face myself, and find better channels for my self-doubt, perhaps the path of self-confidence instead. It is growing into a river I think, as I build each day.
HUGSSSS.. I’m sooo blessed to see you smile in my heart. 
Thank you. You always make me smile. You’re just a remarkable person! xoxoJulia
Thank you! I’ve been really inspired to fuel my creative energy, thanks to your support! It helps get me through the less than glamorous moments of myself. I hope you know that any awesomeness you see in me is a reflection of you too
p.s. A new beautiful shade of pink needs to be invented….just to live up to you!
AWWwwwwww… LoVED that!
hugsssss.. hee hee….. makes me realize I need to start doing that for myself, asking me if someone is really going to be able to match my pink. 
You are your own unique brand, my friend! NOTHING could match the magic that is you! xoJulia
Hee HEe. I giggles. That’s the best reminder EVER. You are quite the super woman yourself you know
a big inspiration for us to reach past our barriers and onto new ground 