I developed an addiction to gadgets when it all happened. I think I played over 50 hours of Picross 3D to get over my divorce. It worked to get through the first 48 days of trauma; it helped save me from falling into a pit of despair that would be too deep to crawl out of, and it curbed my desire to scream so loud that seagulls would hurt.
But as I feed my addiction for distractions, I realize: that digging and excavating what I suppressed is harder. Denial is interesting: it saves you the pain to feel later, usually at most inconvenient times, like at work when someone is acting like a douche bag, or when you hear a song that strums at your heart strings–so fragile, so weak.
The cool slick machinery makes me feel invincible too. A distant memory, a broken hope somehow erased, it seems, when lost in the novelties of bright colored games and missions of accomplishment. But to be a hero in my own story, is standing up to the unrealistic memories, the surpressed fears, the dusty hopes to a future I procrastinated, no delayed, in building for myself, with God as the overseer.
I gotta get up, off my butt, onto this road, highway of life, and live it patiently, one pebble, one kilometer at a time.
Thinking About a Memoir, my guidebook, it’s about reflecting how did you get here from over there.
Islam: Verily, Allah is the most Merciful.